corazón amor romántico

Sur la nature et l’art de l’amour romantique

Aujourd'hui, c'est la Saint-Valentin, le saint patron des amoureux. Une fête qui donne beaucoup à dire : pour certains, c'est un jour pour célébrer leur amour de manière spéciale ; pour d'autres, c'est une célébration de l'amour romantique ; pour d'autres encore, c'est une fête commerciale ; pour d'autres enfin, c'est un enfer... 


C'est selon moi l'occasion idéale d'écrire sur la nature et l'art de l'amour romantique et de ses mythes. Nous avons tous nos opinions et nos introjects à ce sujet, et malheureusement, certains d'entre eux nous font plus de mal qu'il ne faut... Voici quelques-unes de ces croyances et peut-être pourrez-vous les reconnaître en vous. 


“ La croyance n’est pas le début, mais la fin de toute connaissance.” 

                                                                             Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Il y a des gens qui croient qu’ils sont prédestinés à rencontrer leur « meilleure moitié ».

Oui, il y a encore des gens qui croient que nous choisissons le partenaire que nous avons en quelque sorte « prédestiné » et que c’est le seul choix possible. Tout comme il y a des personnes qui croient qu’ètre en couple est nécessaire pour se sentir complet dans la vie. 

En général, ce mythe est associé à la croyance qu’il n’y a qu’un seul « véritable » amour dans la vie, c’est-à-dire la croyance que « l’on n’aime vraiment qu’une fois et que si on le laisse partir, on ne le retrouvera jamais ». Pour eux, il y aura une « passion éternelle » ou une « équivalence », qui soutient qu’il n’y a pas d’autre choix possible. 

La passion éternelle ou l’équivalence soutiennent l’idée que l’amour romantique et passionné des premiers mois d’une relation peut et doit durer après des années de vie commune, et que le sentiment d’amour et l’engouement passionné sont « équivalents ».

Nous sommes des êtres complets et le sentiment d’amour se construit petit à petit, il n’est donc pas nécessaire qu’il y ait une super passion au début… s’il y en a une, tant mieux.

 

Certaines personnes pensent que « l’amour le peut tout ».

 

Imaginons qu’une personne trouve son « partenaire idéal » et croit que « l’amour le peut tout ». 

 

L’amour est-il vraiment tout-puissant ? L’amour suffit-il à surmonter tous les obstacles qui surgissent au cours d’une relation ? Il y a des comportements offensants qui ne changent pas parce que l’autre vous « aime ». Il n’y a aucune raison de les tolérer ou de les accepter. 

 

Dire qu’il n’y a pas de véritable amour sans souffrance est une erreur. Il n’y a pas de raison de souffrir, de tout supporter ou de tout pardonner. Cette croyance conduit souvent à justifier les abus, à utiliser des arguments basés sur le chantage pour manipuler la volonté du partenaire en imposant ses propres critères sans aucune considération : « Si tu ne me pardonnes pas, c’est que tu ne m’aimes pas vraiment. » 

 

Et bien sûr, comme l’amour peut tout faire, il y a aussi l’idée reçue que les opposés s’attirent. La réalité semble montrer que plus les couples ont des choses en commun, mieux ils se comprennent.

Il y a aussi ceux qui croient que l’amour est omnipotent.

 

Il y a aussi ceux qui croient que l’amour est la chose la plus importante et qu’il a besoin d’une dévotion totale. En d’autres termes, ils considèrent que l’amour en tant que couple est la chose la plus importante et que tout le reste de la vie doit être relégué au second plan, et qu’on ne peut être heureux dans la vie que si l’on a un partenaire. Selon eux, la capacité à donner du bonheur est entièrement attribuée au partenaire. Ils se fondent dans l’autre, oublient leur propre vie, dépendent de lui et s’adaptent à lui, faisant fi de leur propre existence, sans rien attendre en retour ni en espérer de réciprocité ou de gratitude. 

 

Certains croient même que si l’on aime, on doit renoncer à l’intimité, qu’il ne peut y avoir de secrets et que le partenaire doit tout savoir de l’autre.

 

D’où la croyance que l’amour romantique et passionné doit conduire à une union stable, à savoir le mariage. Et selon ces personnes, s’il n’y a pas de jalousie, il n’y a pas de véritable amour. Pour elles, l’amour est donc une possession.

 

Bref, ce n’est pas de l’amour… 

 

Si vous vous êtes reconnu dans certains de ces points et que vous souhaitez élargir votre vision du monde et créer la relation à laquelle vous aspirez, n’hésitez pas à prendre contact avec moi. Je vous accompagnerai pour aller vers ce dont vous avez besoin et pour gérer vos émotions.

Compartir es vivir!

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